Autumnal Face

Ever feel that the more you want time to remain still, the quicker it fleets away?  I get that feeling a lot.  Yesterday, unbelievably, marked 2 months since I've been here in Europe, +1 day since I've last seen home. Where has it gone?  What have I accomplished in that time?  Have I made the most of this experience thus far?  What will the future bring?  

Until recently, I had always been a forward thinking person - planning what was to come with incredible detail.  And, you know what? - most times, my plans didn't materialize.  My expectations for what this year abroad was going to be like, so far, have been completely different from what I've experienced, and all for the better.  We have no control over time, and in many circumstances, we have very little control over how our life paves its winding path.  And I think, finally realizing that, that life will happen whether it is planned or not, is one of the most satisfying and calming things I've ever actualized.  Having accepted that, each new day is truly an adventure, waiting to be explored, waiting to be written in the story of one's life.  In the past two months, I've grown as an independent person, I've visited with nearly 1,000 students, I've traveled to 3 countries, I've integrated into a different culture, I've learned a lot, I've seen some incredible things, I've climbed 4 mountains, I've eaten in far too many cafés (everyone's allowed a vice, right?), and I've made more than a handful of friendships with wonderful people, which I am confident will last beyond our time here together.  All in all, life is good.  It continues to get better with each sunrise, and with every delectable slice of cake (may have a problem developing).  

This week was administrative week for sure.  Planning my class schedule through Christmas, finishing graduate school applications, soliciting letters of recommendation, writing letters and postcards, starting my seminar project, and catching up on some reading. I found myself in one of several libraries in my off hours, reading interviews with Jews who suffered familial loss immediately after the annexation in '38, and some of the stories are so brutal, that on several occasions I had to leave for a walk.  This field is not light reading, and there's very rarely something optimistic.  I spent a lot of my time indoors this week, which, in hindsight, was a really good thing, because we hadn't yet been paid since arrival, and pennies saved (and, that is a literal expression here) barely lasted until today's much anticipated paycheck.  

"No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one autumnal face."
Elegy XI: The Autumnal - J. Donne

Living with such focused attention this week, I hadn't realized that the city of Salzburg had transformed into what promises to be a spectacular Christmas wonderland.  Lights and evenly spaced ornaments adorn nearly every street and building in the Altstadt, evergreen trees dot the many squares, the stalls for the famous Christmas markets have been erected and await the thousands of visitors who will find that special gift made by one of the local craftsman.  The ice skating rink on Mozartplatz opened last weekend.  Roasted chestnuts and Glühwein are sold from cart vendors, people are becoming excited with Christmas anticipation, and there are only two more Sundays until Advent.  I've only seen pictures of European Christmas markets, but seeing just the preparation now, I fully know that it will be a magical thing to behold.  Cannot wait!

My students are opening up to me, and every day at least one person puts up his hand in the hallway for a high-five, and many know my name.  There is no hope of me learning all of their names, but it's nice to recognize a face on the bus, or wave to a student walking home from class.  Yesterday, inevitably, I was asked by one of my classes to go to a beer hall with them before Christmas.  They're 16 years old.  I told them I'd consider their invitation - totally don't know how to correctly respond to that!  Last night the other U.S. student and I met an American professor on the Fulbright in southern Hungary for dinner.  Really interesting research going on there, and it was nice to talk a bit about the field of education, Bond, and Downton Abbey with a fellow fan.  Today was productive, but really relaxed.  I had the day off, and researched in the morning, then met with two friends for coffee and cake in one of Salzburg's best, Café Tomaselli.  I walked the small mountain behind the Altstadt on my way to meet a classmate, to work on our project.  Tonight, being the payday, will be a celebration with the other TAs.  Tomorrow, it's off to Vienna after class.  Hoping to catch a performance at the Staatsoper and a few beers with an Austrian friend, then meeting a new friend the next morning at my favorite café in Vienna, followed by a tour of "Beethoven's opera house," and the opening of the Karlsplatz Christmas market before taking an evening train back to Salzburg.  Lucky doesn't begin to describe it...

A "Thank You" 70 Years in the Making

I woke up this morning to find an internet article about the 237th anniversary of the founding of the United States Marine Corps.  Last year on this date, I was privileged to be at the Marines' official ceremony at the Iwo Jima Memorial adjacent to Arlington National Cemetery across from DC.  My brother had just arrived at his new post that day in the California desert after completing training.  One year ago - tempus fugit.  With the whirlwind of patriotism these past few weeks, in the wake of a storm that united a nation, and in the midst of electing arguably the most powerful politician in the world, I am reminded that these strong realizations of American values, of freedom, of choice, of love of country, were hard won through the efforts of millions of brave citizens who fought and continue to fight for the preservation of all that they cherish, of all that we cherish.  Today I am sitting in one of the world's prettiest cities, about to spend the afternoon with friends on a leisurely stroll, and the hardest decision I'll have to make today is what type of wine to pair with dinner.  Today my brother is sitting in a trench halfway around the world fighting not only for my freedom, but for those of a people he's never met.  Every moment - every walk, every truck ride, every meal, every night's sleep, every decision, every breath - every moment could be his last, and knowing that is a terror I will never be able to understand.  

Male students here have compulsory military service after high school, and when I explained that my brother had volunteered to serve, it was beyond their grasp.  The idea of love of country means something so different here, so incompatible with ours.  Many of the students criticize American involvement in foreign affairs, acting as the world's police, getting into situations where many feel we do not belong.  At the German conversation course Tuesday afternoon, that point was further emphasized.  The instructor prompted a discussion on the elections, and, by extension, the United States.  Words cannot describe how awkward it was to sit and hear others from all over the world discuss American policy and politics, and, often in a negative light, I might add.  The instructor ended the discussion by a submission wholly opposite to what the class had voiced.  He thanked the United States.  He said that had the United States not entered World War II, it may well have been that the Nazis retained their influence and that his childhood would have been quite different, quite more oppressive than as it was.  He also mentioned the Marshall Plan, in which the U.S. invested billions and billions of dollars to rebuild European economies, the benefits of which he saw directly.  There were three of us Americans at the course, and he thanked our grandfathers for their service (this region of Austria was governed by the U.S. Army for ten years after the war), and I thought that was a really nice gesture.  Our country's made lots of mistakes in its past, and yes, we are involved in issues all over the world, but I think that our reason for intervening is based in a fundamental desire to give all people the opportunities in life that we enjoy.  Ours is not a perfect society, not by a long shot, but we value what we have more than anything else, and for so many throughout the world, their governments give no reason for their people to feel the same way.  For however you feel, I believe that wherever the United States goes, it fights the good fight - a fight for justice and freedom, a fight to better lives and to make people happy.  

Seeing that Marine Corps article really brought back some feelings of homesickness, especially towards my brother.  He's out in the middle of nowhere Afghanistan, and I don't think he's received any of my letters.  I keep replaying our last conversation in my head, nearly every day.  Out of my parents and I, I was the last to speak with him on the phone.  I remember talking about the most superficial things, and then, when we had both run out of things to say, I remember just holding the phone to my ear, neither of us saying a single word for nearly five minutes - I didn't want to say goodbye.  He finally broke the silence by saying he had to go, and I tried so damned hard to say "see ya later" and explain just how proud of him I was without crying, but it was just too difficult.  And that was it - the next day he shipped out, and later that night, I left for Austria.  Tomorrow is Veterans' Day back in the States, and I've never appreciated the commitment of our troops more than I do today.  Despite our faults, I'm pretty darn proud of being an American.

On the school front, I'm still (still) [still] giving my introductory lesson.  For fun, my advising teacher and I figured out just how much longer I'd have to do my intro lesson - third week of January.  At this rate, I think I'll only need to plan 3 lessons for the entire year!  Crazy.  The teachers are really warming up to me now, and they're starting to speak German with me in their offices, which I'm really happy about.  I'm still having some difficulty with it, but I'm able to express myself, even if its using only elementary terms.  One teacher actually asked me (more like begged, really) to bring her a box of Raisin Bran from the U.S. after Christmas - random, but okay!  The students greet me in the hallways now, and even though I don't know any of their names, it's a very welcoming gesture.  I actually had a conversation with one student on my way to the conversation course - we spoke in German, and he used the formal "Sie," which was pretty amusing.  The teachers don't allow me to tell the students that I understand German - they're quite adamant that my position is to teach English, and that's what I am getting paid to do.  It's great when the students say something about me under their breath, and I give them "the look."  Right then and there, they turn as red as an apple, and they're learning that they can't say much that I wouldn't understand - its empowering!  When I enter a classroom, students stand, and I'm addressed as "Herr Schmalz," and sometimes [incorrectly] "Herr Professor."  I can get used to this.  ;-)

Last night many of us gathered in a friend's apartment to share drinks and play games - great fun!  It's a relatively nice, warm day today, and a few of the girls and I will walk along a tree-lined footpath south of the city through farmland, past the house used as the Von Trapp home in the film.  The weather's taken a turn for the better, as this week will remain in the 50s during the day - very, very welcome!

In Death, Life

Today was just one of those days where you wanted to sit outside, hoping the sun never had to set.  The air was fresh, the sun was warm, and relaxation seemed to have been on everyone's mind.  After an early Mass, I walked along the river smelling like incense (which is one of my favorite scents), taking in the way the early morning light cast long shadows on the sleepy Altstadt, contrasting radiant façades with darkened recesses.  Orange, yellow, and brown leaves fluttered to their final rest below my feet at the slightest hint of wind, and the green grass appeared like a crystal carpet with the delicate dew expressing the sunshine's spectrum.  Pealing Church bells sounded, birds sang their persistent song, and the rushing flow of the Salzach breathed life into what had become a lovely day.

Every day here is a new beginning, a new adventure.  Familiar sights continually yield deeper understanding, and beg further exploration.  Taking advantage of my surroundings for the time given has proved a rewarding and richly satisfying mandate, allowing me the freedom to discover, to succeed and fail, to become enriched and immersed.  Two adages from childhood that have formed my approach to living here are "Nothing ventured, nothing gained," and "He who hesitates is lost."  The more I am here, the more I find those statements' truth.  Life is about learning, which involves one's fair share of mistakes and troubles, but, in the end, the advantages and opportunities derived from placing oneself outside of his comfort zone far outweigh those of he who is not exploratory, constituting one who is much more aware of himself and the world than the one who closes himself to the world and who does not allow the world to change him.

This week was probably the most relaxing time I've had here since I arrived in Europe 14 September.  Tuesday was my last day in school, as Wednesday was a teachers' conference, Thursday and Friday were religious holidays, and I have off Monday.  Having so much free time allowed for much needed rest, catching up on applications and writing, and some quality time with friends over dinner or on a day trip.  One particular night this weekend, I was joined by two of the teaching assistants' boyfriends, one who lives here in Austria, and another from England - after more than a month, I was a bit overwhelmed for a moment, but I really, really enjoyed their company!

Friday was All Souls' Day, and I went to my Austrian parish Church for a Requiem Mass, to which I was really looking forward.  The order of priests who runs this parish have preserved the liturgical celebrations as they existed before the reforms of the mid-20th Century, so Mass is said in Latin, with the priest facing the same direction as the congregation.  Its fascinating, and Mass "feels" very different from the norm - I like it a lot, especially as I think I understand more Latin than I do German, which is most of the reason why I've picked this particular Church!  After Mass, two priests led the people through the old cemetery, one sprinkling holy water on the surrounding graves, and the other incensing, as we prayed and sang hymns.  Seeing the cemetery lit by candlelight, with all the fresh flowers lovingly laid atop graves, smelling the incense,  and hearing chanted prayers in an ancient language was certainly an experience that appealed to the senses, but one that also hit home the message behind All Souls' Day.  I felt tradition - being apart of something so much bigger than myself, and something that had existed for centuries - an expression of beliefs that had formed how much of Europe once thought, beliefs which still hold true for many abroad.  Truly one of the most beautiful ceremonies I've ever witnessed.

Yesterday, a small group of us traveled to Schloss Herrenchiemsee, which is a castle complex built on an island in the center of a large lake in Bavaria.  It was built by Ludwig II, whose most famous estate is the extravagant Neuschwanstein (read: inspiration for Disney's Cinderella Castle).  Herrenchiemsee is modeled on the Palais Versailles west of Paris, where Ludwig had become enthralled with the French Rococo, and is one of his tamer architectural endeavors.  We took a short boat ride to the island, and, as we had arrived only a few hours before sunset, the autumnal colors of the island's flora were just shouting of their beauty.  The palace is probably a 1/5 of the size of Versailles, but it was an earnest attempt, and was truly a spectacular site to behold on this tiny island in the middle of quaint Bavaria.  It was great fun, and the day ended in a mountainside Italian restaurant back in Salzburg.

As I admire just how incredibly sumptuous the landscape is here, I cannot help but lament the destruction of one of America's most beautiful.  Hearing stories of loss and desperation from friends and family, reading accounts of the nightmare that occurred, seeing pictures of the utter devastation that now plagues my home has been not only flatly depressing, but has left me feeling powerless, too far removed, but also lucky (for which I can't help but feel guilty).  I remember seeing the wrath of Katrina, sympathizing with its victims, but still not fully understanding just how those people felt.  Now, after so many friends and family have directly suffered, I feel what those in the Gulf Coast must have felt then.  It pains me, viewing pictures of what was once the beach we went to forever, the boardwalk where I'd get my favorite orange/vanilla ice cream, the lots where friends' houses used to stand, rides I used to go on, roads on which I used to drive with the windows down, taking in the salt air and the smell of summer, favorite restaurants, parks, paths, and hang-outs, all gone or damaged beyond recognition.  It's where I grew up, where all my memories are from, and where a big part of my heart remains, and to see it in this state, in what my uncle describes "looks like a bomb went off," hurts in every bone of my body.  Not being there with everyone is killing me, and under a lot of forced smiles this week, it's been very, very difficult trying to focus on my life here.  For people who grew up there, the Jersey Shore isn't so much a place as it is a way of life.  Flip-flops and Ray-Bans, pastel colors, and sand always on the floor of your car, pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwiches, taking local roads instead of the GSP, taking life as it comes, knowing you're one of the luckiest guys in the world because your home is a place people travel high and lo to come to for vacation, and living for the sound of the ocean crashing against your favorite beach.  Losing so much of the Shore feels like losing a friend - for so many of us, the Shore was the foundation for growing up, a way of life that will never leave us.  Its a passionate relationship, one forged from birth, one that is the reason the Shore will resurrect - it will come back better than ever because of the love people have for the Shore.  Its a part of us, and we of it, and that is why this destruction hurts so much - its personal.

Of blessed memory.

"Nothing Gold Can Stay"

It's not often that I can't find the words to express something, but this time, Hurricane Sandy's taken the cake.  Several friends stayed in a homeless shelter last night because their houses were either flooded or swept off their foundation.  Thousands of boats were pulled out to sea.  The boardwalk at my favorite beach was dragged into the Atlantic, sand covers the streets 1/2 mile inland, the beaches and dunes are gone.  A floating house knocked out a local bridge.  Family and friends are without electricity, which means also heat, along with 95% of Monmouth and Ocean Counties.  So many familiar roads are now 4 feet under water.  An iconic restaurant stands destroyed.  Helicopters rescue people who did not evacuate in time.  Half of a local amusement pier was ripped off.  Cars floated down streets, trees are downed everywhere, and the state along the Shore has effectively shut down.  Governor Christie cancelled Halloween, and the President will visit this afternoon.  Lower Manhattan is also flooded, filling the subway tunnels and the unfinished World Trade Center plaza with seawater.  Some areas of the business district are 13 feet under water.  It is estimated that up to 5 million people are without electricity, with no hope of it being restored within 7 days.  People are trapped in their workplaces, and a friend travels from friend to friend, trying to find a working power outlet and food.  Thousands wait at gas stations, to purchase fuel for their generators.  Train tracks along the Northeast Corridor were washed away, and train cars were pushed onto a major highway, which is also closed.  Harbors were destroyed to the point where they are unrecognizable, a favorite park is now a military emergency command center, and there are billions of dollars worth of damage.  Unreal.  It is unreal that, within the course of a day, one of the most beautiful locations along the East Coast, my childhood home, can be turned overnight into what looks like a devastated war zone.

Having the same the indomitable spirit and Shore pride as the residents who live along the battered coast, I know that the challenge of rebuilding and restoring life to as it was will be a task assumed with enthusiastic effort, fortitude, and great strength.  God Bless the Jersey Shore.

 From the Shore's native son, the Boss:

The Unnoticed Most Important Day in Austria

If you were one of the thousands of foreign visitors in Salzburg today, some closed shops may have been the only indication that something was occurring in Austria.  I particularly enjoyed the mini federal flags flying from the tops of the city's buses.  Cute, but a bit underwhelming.  And so passes the big national holiday.  That student's explanation for Austrians' lack of visible patriotism served as a stinging reminder throughout the day of the troubles this nation's faced in recent times.  If anything, it helps me to appreciate ever more my home.  I dare not say that Americans sacrificed more than Austrians for what we enjoy, because I doubt that is the case, but the freedom that we hold to celebrate our country's accomplishments and the lives we've built, enriched by the values upon which the United States was founded, is something that many other nations do not, cannot, claim.  In what has become a recurring theme in my few weeks here among Austrian students, I am not only learning quite a bit about this country, but more about my home - living in another culture grants an awareness of one's own that is all too absent while in its presence.  The more and more I am here, I fall ever deeper in love with this culture, landscape, and people, but I also ever increasingly realize that the only place I can ever call home, the place where I'd rather live than any other, the place I could never leave, is America.  

Thursday evening started the holiday weekend, and an interesting start it was.  A dozen of us went to a local beer hall in the Altstadt, Sternbräu, for dinner and drinks.  For 99.9% of my time here, being the only guy in the group has been heavenly.  Well, things turned a bit Thursday night.  Essentially, I was schooled on how to be a proper English primary school girl.  Television shows, hands games, rhymes, celebrities, flirting schemes, clothes, bands, fads, and the lot.  Having not listened to a Spice Girls song before these most recent Olympics is sinful...mea culpa.  If I understood correctly, did you know that girls can tell how many boyfriends one of their friends has by holding a hand over that girl's head?  Or that some piece of paper with 4 things written on it can determine who you'll marry and what type of home you'll own? I thought magic was relegated to the world of Harry Potter, but girls seem to have an in, as far as this is concerned.  Apparently, my boyish childhood was void of many of the wonders of life.  I'm now determined to get a haircut every 3 weeks, because I'm dreadfully afraid that if I let it grow out, they may just try to braid my hair.  I did learn a lot, though - mainly, that being a boy was much less fretful than being a girl!

Friday morning, I had an appointment with the owner of a coat making firm just east of Salzburg in a village named Elixhausen.  I've been on the search for what's called a Lodenmantel (a traditional top coat of sorts, made from alpaca wool and cashmere) from this region of Europe.  It's dark green, finishes just below the knee, and has been through a customary process that makes for a coat that's water resistant, lightweight, breathable, and incredibly warm.  I took a bus to the village, then walked a ways to this workshop, which is actually in the owner's basement/garage.  There, he and several others hand make the coats to the wearer's specifications right there, as they've been doing for generations.  I had sent him my measurements last week, and he had several samples with varying stylistic touches for me to try.  Surprisingly, the first try fit like a glove, and I walked away a very satisfied customer - and just in the nick of time, as Salzburg's in for a few inches of snow this weekend.   

Winter is not something to which I'm looking forward here.  My memories of Salzburg in February 2011 will forever haunt me.  All I can recollect is cold feet for a month, a room heater on it's last leg, blue fingertips under gloves, blistery wind, snow, snow, snow.  I imagine Antarctica is about the same.  Those were the days I wished I never had to leave my bed, when the sun shone for only 6 hours a day, when a hot chocolate and the glimmer of hope that warmth would someday return were the only two things that kept me going.  The snow is predicted to start falling tomorrow afternoon.  I was bemoaning to several of the younger teachers at my school about the forecast, and they just smiled and said "we're supposed to get more snow this winter than since the war."  We were not amused.  As Gandalf said so many times, "and so it begins."  

Friday evening, the team who could not keep up with our group's superior intellect, as displayed in our Quiz Night victory, made a retributive dinner.  More than a dozen came, as well as a few out-of-towners (don't worry, no other guys in sight), for a night of so many laughs, good company, and a terrific meal.  The main course was sort of like chili, which was outrageously good, and the perfect accompaniment to this cold night - warmed us right up!  Austrian food is amazing, don't get me wrong, but I would venture to say that it doesn't quite put up a good fight in the ring of diverse gastronomical offerings.  Austrian cuisine is essentially meat on a plate, any way you like it, with potatoes.  Aside from my mom's pasta, the perfectly cooked Wiener Schnitzel may be my favorite meal, but it's not something I could eat every day (believe me, I've tried).  The "kitchenette" situation in my flat is far from ideal, too.  Not having an oven severely limits my cooking capabilities, and the combination of long days and limited/different selection in the supermarket leads to often uninspired (read: boring) dinners.  Not to mention, due to the layout of my building, communal dining is not an option.  That being said, not only was tonight a welcome dinner, but it was yet another opportunity to be with my extended Austrian family, which is surely what the girls are becoming.  I must say, sometimes the looks we get at restaurants  entertaining (1 guy and 10+ girls), but at this point in the game, there are no reservations about it (unless you count the present threat of having my hair braided).  We've been meeting for mid-week drinks, going to dinner, day trips on weekends, and we've just tonight planned an outing to see the new Bond film (in English!!!!) on its Austrian premiere.  Very grateful, and very much excited for the rest of our time together.