Imagine if the United States were a place where each state was home to a different culture, a different language, a different cuisine, a different world view, a different way of living. On a whim, for the sheer enjoyment of it, or for the simple change of pace, one would be able to drive 2-3 hours and be someplace markedly different from where the journey started. Within a single day, one might be able to experience half a dozen unique places, with there always being the promise of one further yet to explore. Knowing that the opportunity to jump into something new, something different is only a few hours away is so liberating, understanding that one's not stuck in one place without refuge. That excitement, that world of possibilities and constant motion and immersion, is what I find in Europe. Being in the geographic center of the continent certainly has its benefits. Germany's a stone's throw away, Italy, Switzerland, Hungary, Liechtenstein, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, and Slovenia are all reachable within three hours, and affordable airfare makes the continent's other countries no more than a few hours' flight away. And yet, Europe in its comparably small size to the U.S., is home to so much difference. Each country has its own identity, and still within those realms, it is easy to find localized identities particular to the tiniest of regions. For example, last weekend I was in Vienna for the goodbye party with a dozen or so other American researchers. The next morning, a friend and I decided to travel 40 minutes east to Bratislava, the capital city of Slovakia - a different language, different food, a different way of life. Living in a world where travel between cultures is easy, and almost a part of life, I feel that perhaps, sometimes, it can be taken for granted. I had students who wouldn't have blinked at the prospect of driving down to Italy for lunch with family, then returning home to Austria in the evening. Heck, I feel it myself sometimes, hopping on a plane and landing on the other side of the continent just over an hour away. It's nothing, a simple trip. I've always considered myself an ardent patriot, and America will always be home, but for as large of a country as it is, wherever you go, with some variation, it's still the same country, if you know what I mean. To experience this world here, it takes travelling thousands of miles across a gigantic ocean and costs thousands of dollars - and that is why I appreciate being here so very much. I get to live in a world that most Americans will only be able to see in pictures and stories, and for that, I feel truly blessed.
It is because of the geographical separation, as well as its consequences, I think, that makes me feel a certain way about being here. I've spent nearly two years of my life abroad, almost all of that time spent within Europe. I've immersed myself within cultures, I'm learning languages and trying new things, my mind's been open to varied ways of thinking, I've made new friends, and I'd like to think I've developed along the way. I know my way around many cities, I know the places to go to, and where to avoid, and I think I'm starting to understand how and why the people here think what they do. Some days I even feel like a local. But I'm not. And I never will be, and with that realization comes some feelings. I'll never forget the time a student asked me which countries in Europe I had visited. When I listed a substantial number, the teacher mockingly said, "Ah yes, the typical American - seeing all of Europe in 2 weeks." Well, yes! Like I've mentioned, it's not an ordinary task to visit the other side of the Atlantic, and you're darn right I'm going to seize every opportunity to expose myself to as much of it as possible in the time given. And therein lies the fundamental difference between us, I believe. To those living here, Europe is a birthright, a circumstance simply of where they were born. It is theirs and belongs to no one else. It is their home and their way of life. Even when traveling with other Europeans, I feel a degree of separation - that the trip means something different to me than to them. For many, they're used to it. Many family vacations are to other countries, but for me, it's a whole new world. And that's perfectly okay.
I've spent nearly the entire year entertaining this question, trying to understand and articulate what it is exactly that I feel, and rereading this, I still feel as if I've failed to clarify. I think it really comes down to where one considers home to be. "Awesome" doesn't begin to describe this place, and the people who inhabit it, but for me, I don't think it ever will be, ever could be, more. To me, it is very clear that the place where my friends and family are, where I went to school, where I first played piano, where I learned to drive, where I fell asleep on the beach at the sound of the crashing waves, where I sat with friends on a warm July night watching fireworks, where I learned to polish my shoes and make sauce, where I went to my first concert, where I watched a Marine march off to war, will be my one and only home. At times, I'm torn. I feel as if I could live here forever, being constantly stimulated by the opportunities to travel easily and explore the wealth of experiences to be had, but I think it's the thought of being eternally "Tim, the American" that dissuades me from doing that. Maybe it is because I just haven't spent enough time here, or perhaps haven't worked as hard as I must, but I don't feel like I could ever become an insider - it'll always be a life of challenges and adjusting as an outsider, and the comfort that comes with being home is just that - it's home. My time in Europe is coming to a close, and although I am so looking forward to returning to the States, I will sorely miss this place, the lifestyle I've enjoyed here, and its great effect on my life. I guess, when it all boils down, all I'm saying is that I wish the Atlantic Ocean didn't exist, and traveling to France would be just as easy as driving to Massachusetts, but alas, that's not the case! Birthrights - they make all the difference.
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